"Hope in life ... comes outta nowhere ... Maybe some day it can be summoned :)" ~The Cass
A few weeks ago, I told someone something I'd never really said out loud.... Their one line of reply right before they passed out asleep was a bit of a blow to me. I know feelings and such change all the time....and what I think might change...I think it will, it's just a matter of "learning" about it....
But anyhow, that one little sentence hit me really hard...I felt a certain hope inside of me die. Even though I've a sick feeling in my gut that I'll never get to experience that, I have this little hope in my soul that God will help me learn what I need to. But with those words that night...that little flame of hope died. I turned over and lay staring into the night and the beginning of a dark night for my soul....
After that night I was stressed out a lot about everything. I started getting really tired and could hardly stand and stay awake for work. Hardly had the energy for anything...and yet I still wasn't admitting what was quietly stressing me out. I almost asked God for a txt to give me hope. Lol. I know that sounds really cracked.
I went to bed way early Thursday night...almost falling asleep just driving home. Slept pretty well but my eyes were still burning when I woke up. I was standing in the kitchen getting some breakfast ready, trying to not to remember how quiet and alone it felt in the silence of the house. when I heard the familiar sound of a txt message alert from my phone.
I wondered who it'd be so early in the morning... I didn't recognize the number but opened the txt and read it. "Hey sweetie you doing okay? Have a great weekend from Hounie @ MMI." It wasn't meant for me, but somehow, somewhere inside, it brought something alive in me. It gave me a hope somehow. I told them and we started chatting a little. It really made my day, and for once, at the end of the day, I was still happy and felt alive. I wasn't even tired and it had been a long day.
Thank God for a stranger named Hounie and a wrong number :-)
...and so my belief is, God txt me that day :-)
A few weeks ago, I told someone something I'd never really said out loud.... Their one line of reply right before they passed out asleep was a bit of a blow to me. I know feelings and such change all the time....and what I think might change...I think it will, it's just a matter of "learning" about it....
But anyhow, that one little sentence hit me really hard...I felt a certain hope inside of me die. Even though I've a sick feeling in my gut that I'll never get to experience that, I have this little hope in my soul that God will help me learn what I need to. But with those words that night...that little flame of hope died. I turned over and lay staring into the night and the beginning of a dark night for my soul....
After that night I was stressed out a lot about everything. I started getting really tired and could hardly stand and stay awake for work. Hardly had the energy for anything...and yet I still wasn't admitting what was quietly stressing me out. I almost asked God for a txt to give me hope. Lol. I know that sounds really cracked.
I went to bed way early Thursday night...almost falling asleep just driving home. Slept pretty well but my eyes were still burning when I woke up. I was standing in the kitchen getting some breakfast ready, trying to not to remember how quiet and alone it felt in the silence of the house. when I heard the familiar sound of a txt message alert from my phone.
I wondered who it'd be so early in the morning... I didn't recognize the number but opened the txt and read it. "Hey sweetie you doing okay? Have a great weekend from Hounie @ MMI." It wasn't meant for me, but somehow, somewhere inside, it brought something alive in me. It gave me a hope somehow. I told them and we started chatting a little. It really made my day, and for once, at the end of the day, I was still happy and felt alive. I wasn't even tired and it had been a long day.
Thank God for a stranger named Hounie and a wrong number :-)
...and so my belief is, God txt me that day :-)
