The Mission: Find a Goal!

I got a letter from a close friend last night; Sister put a little PS sticky note in with just a few lines on it.... It was to the effect of, "I don't think you'll be happy until you stop "running" from something, and start running towards a goal.  And that is all I will say."


Immediately as I read that, I thought of a blog I posted awhile back titled, "If life is boring, then likely you have no goals..." I don't know where I got that sentence, perhaps it was another friend of mine who spoke them to me at a time since passed.

Sometimes it really is the simplest of sentences that strike the most, eh? :-) I think I have some sort of goal, but there that darn Frustration Gap that some Mary Kay director was talking about...keeps getting my way! Lol. It's up to me to jump that gap, meaning I need to either change the goal or change the myself to meet my goal.

"And my only hope is that we will all meet in the end..."

I was thinking last week of my life here in SM...and thought, well, I just need to choose to be happy here. I can do that. I'll just be happy. Funny that a friend would tell me of someone who just decided that in the same week. :-)

Perhaps that thought came about because I was thinking back on all the posts I've written and the dark colors I like and thought, "Hmm...this is all very dark, I want to be happy now...."

Besides, a few weeks ago, I let one of my friends have the link to my blog, which I don't really let anyone have since they're just my thoughts and therefore they really seem dumb to me.... Well, knowing that there is a possibility that that person might read my posts, I don't want to sound as if I am always complaining. I mean, how boring would that be!? To read things that bring you down! So anyhow, I want to try to be more cheery and "think happy thoughts" and relate them here on my blog.... maybe thoughts with a picture to reflect it, something that is beautiful....

I crave beauty.

Autumn does that to me; I find something particularly beautiful in the earth's annual 'death".... There are so many vivid colors, so much beauty in it's death.... Isn't that's how our death should be? And God in His goodness shows us every year how our own deaths should be; beautiful. The earth mimics a human life in a way; we can learn so much just observing its seasons....

So I may be changing the template for my blog...gotta think about that one... :-)

Bad Dreams

Last night I'm pretty sure I had a series of stressed dreams.
The one I remember and that kept going through my mind after I woke up was of me and a group of college kids sitting in the grass in front of the girls dorm (there was no slope down the hill in front, was flat and grassy) then two people, the dean of the college and Dr. W, climbed out a top window of the dorm and onto a little half foot ledge and started inching around the building.

I looked up but wasn't really worried too much and just joked to the person saying, "Hey now why can't we do that?" and then he started showing off! All jumping and skipping on the tiny ledge then he dropped like he was going to do a push-up but as he went to pop back up, he somehow bounces off the ledge and fell to the ground where his body hit the ground "bouncing" once! As he was falling, my mind screamed no as I "knew" that this was for real and not just a dream he'd wake up from.... When he hit the ground I screamed and started crying and and yelling at the students, "Father! Father!" my voice in that horrible slow motion state where you can't move and your voice isn't even there. They ran to Dr. W, but I couldn't make myself even look at him; I couldn't believe I'd seen him fall to his death.

And that was how I still felt when I woke up! Bad feeling.

Crazy dream eh? And that was just as my alarm went off and I had been in a half asleep dream.... I hate when they feel real. Last weekend I woke up crying/not being able to breath and kept crying for a few seconds until I realized it was just that I was dreaming and that the people I "saw" were not actually real, they were from a movie I'd seen....

Can We Save the Planet?

Through all the news and such over the past few years, we've constantly heard that the earth is being depleted and that the oceans are "dying" as the plant life is dying. The scientist tell us that WE have to save the planet ...and then God strikes again! :-) The article below made me smile at God's sense of humor. Or at least He made me laugh ;-)


Austalian Dust Storms Cause Life Explosion

 

Dusty City | Discovery News Video

 

Oct. 7, 2009 -- The red dust storm that dumped thousands of tons of soil across eastern Australia two weeks ago has caused an explosion in microscopic life in Sydney Harbor and beyond.

Researchers analyzing the impact say the finding validates plans to increase fish stocks to feed some of the world's poorest people using ocean fertilization.

All you wanted

The soundtrack when I woke this morn...

"How was I supposed to know
She was slowly letting go?
If I was putting her through hell,
Hell I couldn't tell.

She could've given me a sign
And opened up my eyes
How was I supposed to see?
She never cried in front of me."

It was for the first time
That I'd seen her eyes cry'n.
A smile alive on her face,
E'en her eyes gave no trace;
Her mind so well trained
The smile never feigned.
But what I didn't know,
Her heart wasn't full' aglow;
Oh but how could it be
When it yearned to love thee?!
Thrown to the wayside
Shunned from her monther's side!
For you my heart broke,
And wished I hadn't spoke.
Ah now I know why on the phone,
There's silent sadness to your tone.

Jealousy is not something I experience so much...

There have been only a few times in my life that I've become speechless.... It has only been with my closest friends, and it just came to me that perhaps I am speechless because I am content with them being themselves, with me being myself. I am content with our friendship and nothing could make me happier but to see them.

If I am thinking beyond that moment of happiness, then obviously I wasn't so happy that my whole being was filled. That's my theory anyhow. Lol. My mind has a bent towards the serious, for sure, and solving problems. But imagine, there are times when I know I'm safe from criticisms from "friends" about how I need to do this and not be so serious and blah blah, which are needless. Yes, times when we both know and experience things the same way that we both are content to hold the moment.